relative n. An unknown, or at the very least unremembered, individual who expects you to provide room and board for his random appearances at weddings, holidays, and funerals.
| Relations are simply a tedious pack of people who haven't got the remotest knowledge of how to live, nor the smallest instinct about when to die. | |
| --Oscar Wilde | |
religion n. An attempt to understand and obey the whims of whatever sort of being one imagines one's God to be; hence, one man's excuse for starting a war, and the next man's excuse for refusing to fight in it.
| All religions look equally silly from the outside. | |
| --Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough for Love | |