yogurt n. A congealed food product manufactured by fermenting milk, usually sold mixed with fruit preserves to render it palatable. The resulting caloric content would make the product's diet-oriented advertising laughable were it not so successful.

youth n. The fondly recalled and widely squandered springtime of one's life, recapture of which is peddled lucratively under the guises of gooey nostrums, cosmetic surgery, and lavishly illustrated sex manuals.